


Final Fantasy XIV: A Phantom Realm

by UncleJimbo95



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Action/Adventure, Hijinks & Shenanigans, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inappropriate Humor, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:01:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UncleJimbo95/pseuds/UncleJimbo95
Summary: Dethaniel has always dreamed to explore the world with his own two eyes. Though his behavior may leave to be desired, his compassion has inspired the people by helping them and will inevitably become someone greater. Whether some may like it or not.
Relationships: Momodi Modi & Warrior of Light, Warrior of Light & Thancred Waters





	Final Fantasy XIV: A Phantom Realm

**Author's Note:**

> "What if we grab Jojo and put it somewhere else!" I love/hate my brain sometimes.

It was a wonderful day in the land of Eorzea for our young blue haired Midlander Hyur. It was his first day adventuring outside of his hometown. He was taking a carriage to head for Ul'dah to become an official adventurer. The only thing that was daunting, was the giant ball in the sky. He had heard rumors spreading about it being Bahamut sealed up, but our hero doesn't believe in hearsay.

"Must be a new spell mages came up with." He said. "Plus, even if it was true, I'm sure the Warriors of Light will stop it like they always do. After all, heroes always prevail against any threat!" 

Suddenly, the ball started falling apart and Bahamut roared.

"Uh oh." Uh oh indeed. In a blink of an eye, his entire world got blasted into smithereens. Ending his journey prematurely. 

**Jojo's Bizarre Adventure - Sono Chi No Sadame**

"AAAAH!" He wakes up still in the carriage.

"Oi. Are ya okay?" An older Highlander sitting across him checks on our hero.

"Y-Yea. Just had the wildest nightmare ever. There was a ball in the sky and Bahamut broke free from it and killed us all!" He exaggerates his hand motions to emphasize how intense it was. "It felt a little too real."

"Hahaha! That is one hell of a dream." Our hero is now embarrassed from how dumb it sounds. He has no clue why he had that hyper realistic nightmare. "I hope you don't mind me asking to kill time, but why are you going to Ul'dah?"

"What else? I'm going to join the Adventurer's Guild and explore the world with my own two eyes!" 

"Is that so? Most young adventurers I've asked either answer they want power, wealth, fame or all of the above."

"Pfft. Power is such a vague term. It could literally mean anything, like the power of mind, nation and even wealth. Speaking of money, it's useless to me as I can find alternatives that are free. While some fame would be nice, that's not my primary goal." He leans closer to the old man. "Nothing is worth more than experience. I'm sure you can agree to that."

"Oho. You're pretty wise for your age."

"Naaaah. It's common sense, honestly. People are just too blinded by their own ambitions, that they forget the most crucial part of their lives." He looks up at the clear blue sky. "The present, baby!" 

"Hehehe! Funny lad, aren't ya?"

"Hihihi! You got that right!" They both laugh wholeheartedly.

_ Thal's balls ain't got nothing on this guy _

Our hero has finally arrived in Ul'dah. He takes a deep breath.

"Aaaah~! I can smell the class disparity in the air!" He looks around the area. Very nice architecture, with a bunch of beggars outside the walls right before he got in. "Welp. Time to register." He hypes himself and heads inside the Quicksand.

The tavern is full of adventurers. Tall, short, horns, bunny ears, cat ears, you name it. He approaches the desk where the red haired Lalafell is doing some paperwork. 

"Hmmm. The budget for this week has been steadily increasing…" She mumbles to herself, then notices the man that is the main character of the story. I believe I haven't emphasized that fact. "Oh! My apologies. I didn't see you there." She jumps on the stool. "Welcome to The Quicksand. My name is Momodi and I'm the owner of this fine establishment. I presume you're to join the guild?"

"Of course!" He poses dramatically. "Especially under the presence of a beautiful maiden." 

"Ohoho! Flattery won't get you anywhere, but I appreciate the compliment." She pulls out a giant book. She then goes on to explain their conflicts with the Amalj’aa, the Garlean Empire, the financial and social state in Ul’dah and blah blah, we’re skipping all this. “You got all that?”

“Hah!” He smirks with a glint on his canine. “Not a single thing.”

“I’m sure it’s a lot to take in. You’ll see it for yourself when you go out there. Now then, let’s make it official! Sign your name here.” We finally get to know the name of our fellow hero. “...Dethaniel Noir?”

“Is there something wrong with it?”

“Oh no! It’s just a peculiar name. I have many people make up eccentric nicknames when they sign up.”

“Well if it makes you feel any better, Grannymam was never good at coming up with names either. Apearantly, my name comes from a mixture of my five Grannydads surnames.” Momodi raises an eyebrow from his claim.

“That is...bizarre, to say the least. Nevertheless, On behalf of the Adv-”

“Please! By the Twelve, have mercy! I promise to pay every single gil! Just give me more time!” A Hyur falls to his knees, begging for his life to a Lalafell with an eyepatch and two goons. 

“In the East, even a merciful god is driven to vengeance at the thrice chance. You should be grateful I’m giving you a fourth chance.”

“Hahaha! Is that so? Back home, Byregot is actually a nice bloke. Can be a hardass at times, but he means well.” Dethaniel interjects, not understanding the situation. 

“Are you acquainted with this sorry sod?” The Lalafell asks.

“Him? Never seen this man in my life.” 

“Ah. So you just like to butt into other businesses.”

“Look mate, you were talking about gods and I thought I would say something interesting about mine.” 

“I’m feeling extremely generous today and in order to make up for the time you've wasted for me, I'll only charge you a quarter of what he owes." He smirks.

"How much would that be?" The Lalafell is surprised that he's going along with it.

"It would be three thousand gil!" Everyone is now engrossed by the conversation. He expects to see Deth's shocked expression by such a debt.

"That's it?" 

"Whaaat!?" He gets flustered.

"What's with the yelling?" Deth takes out his gil pouch and throws it at him. "This should cover everything." The Lalafell opens and is absolutely stumped.

"T-Twenty thousand gil!?" He shouts. 

"I gather shit and give it to the people that I help. For some reason, they gave me money when I didn't ask for it. I'm in it for the experience! So you can have it for all I care." Dethaniel goes back to Momodi. "As you were saying?"

"R-Right. On behalf of the Adventurer's Guild, you are now an official adventurer!" She claps.

"YEEEEES!" He runs outside excitedly. "Look out world! Cause the Blue Dynamite is going to explore every single hole you got to offer and expose your secrets!" He screams at the sky. Our now official hero fails to notice the weird looks he has attracted due to his poor phrasing. 

"I feel like I've just summoned Ifrit to the world." Momodi says to herself. Then Dethaniel comes in and approaches her.

"I have no idea what to do now." Momodi sighs.

"I know you're extremely excited, but you have to learn to be patient. Although, it is rare to find a youth as energetic as you these days." She giggles. "Anyways, I have three t-Thal's balls!"

"You have three of Thal's balls? Damn, I didn't know you were such a player!" He laughs.

"No! I completely forgot about Kiku's request!" 

"What's it about?" 

"She asked me to send someone to investigate something for her. It must be serious if she's requesting assistance. There was an adventurer earlier who could've helped out, but they must be in Central Thanalan by now." Dethaniel coughs to attract her attention.

"It's clear you're in need of assistance. Lucky for you, there's an available adventurer right here." He motions himself.

"I can't possibly do that. You haven't even been taught to attune to Ul'dah's aetheryte."

"The Ula of ryte what?"

"My point exactly."

"Come on! This is urgent, right? If it's something you need to take care of, then I'm more than capable for the job."

"You did surprisingly handle the situation earlier pretty well." She thinks for a moment and then looks at Deth, who is flexing his muscles to show he's strong. "All right." 

"Hells yea!" He runs out of the tavern.

"..." He returns once more.

"So where is the location of the quest?" Momodi sighs, knowing that he's going to be a future headache. 

_ The Silver Bazaar _

Dethaniel finally arrives at the destination, but can he find Kipu since he forgot to ask how she looks? He approaches a Lalafell with glasses. 

“Excuse me, fellow stranger. I’m looking for a person named Kipu. Have you seen her?” 

“Ya mean Kikipu Kipu? Aye. She’s currently doing business with some shady people in her tavern.” He points to the location.

“Much obliged.” Deth walks into the place, where Kipu is being surrounded by tall, menacing men. 

"Quit being such a hard-arse! Hand over the deed and we'll not be as rough on ya." He smirks while cracking his knuckles. Dethaniel stands next to a goon.

"What's going on here?" He asks.

"We're here to take a deed from the owner." 

"Ah, I see." 

"Then we're going to use it to improve our business."

"Oh. Interesting."

"And finally, our boss is going to make that woman into his personal servant." At finishing the sentence, our hero backhands the goon's face hard. Breaking his nose and some teeth in the process.

"Who in the hells are you!?" The boss shouts. Now everyone is facing him.

"There are two things that I hate the most about you people!" Dethaniel gets in between the group and woman. "One. Forcing others to do your nefarious biddings. Two. Seeing your perfectly chiseled faces not being pummeled by my fists!"

"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try. Fellas! Let's teach this boy what's in store for him playin' a hero." They unsheathe the swords and shields.

"Kipu, I presume? Do not worry. I have been sent by Momodi to aid you. Let me handle these ruffians and then we can discuss the matter." 

"Hold on. Thes-" Deth cuts her off.

"Listen up! Because there's only four of you, I will make this fair by not using my legs to kick."

"Hahaha! You got a death wish, boy? Fine by us!" One of them lunges at him, but he weaves his attack. Being at the enemy's rear, he uses Bootshine.

"Hyaaagh!" The goon is down! Two of them rush towards him. He catches both of the blades with each hand. They smirk, thinking they can slice off his fingers, but Dethaniel has a tight grip. He pulls them towards each other, causing their heads to collide with one another. Deth finishes them off by smacking their heads again together with his hands.

"Hiiiiii!" The last one screams and retreats.

"As I thought. The weak preying on the defenseless to make them feel superior." Dethaniel huffs and approaches Kipu. "Sorry about that, pretty lady. Now what is the issue you need help with?"

"You already took care of it. Though, it wouldn't have escalated this way if you got your bloody arse here sooner!" She scolds him.

"Ack! I'm sorry! But there were people that needed assistance along the way." He gets flustered. 

"Oi jackasses!" Someone shouts from outside and they go out to investigate. It is the last goon holding the Lalafell with glasses hostage. "You thought you could get away with your meddling? Well you got another thing coming!" Dethaniel walks towards him. "Don't come near me or the peepsqueak gets it!" He puts his blade against the Lalafell's neck.

"...Pfft. A'right. Not like I care about the bugger because you only got two options. I beat the shit out of you or I beat the ever living shit out of you. The only difference is the latter you will pay the price for taking a life. I'm going to count to three and we'll see what options you choose. One."

"Don't try me, fool!" He shakily says.

"Two."

"I-I'm warning you!" He presses it further, which hurts the hostage.

"Three." The assailant drops the weapon and runs away. "All talk."

"What in the Twelve were you thinking!? He could've killed him with that stunt you pulled!" Kipu scolds him once again.

"Nah. He wasn't actually gonna do it. You could tell he is a coward from the moment all his goons went down." He sighs. "Although, I'm very disappointed he would commit such acts." He faces her. "Now, onto the quest! What do you need me to do?" 

"Your job was to doubt the suspicious workers that were being unproductive. However, that wasn't necessary, since they revealed themselves and you came right in time to save me." She pulls out a letter and gives it to our hero. "Give this to Momodi for me. I'm sure she wants to know about the situation."

"I will immediately deliver this with no delay!" He sprints towards Ul'dah.

"You don't think they will come back to harass us again, right?" The Lalafell with the glasses asks.

"Oi! You there!" Dethaniel spots the cowardly goon behind a rock near the place. "Thought you could get away as a free man? Well you got another thing coming." He cracks his knuckles. "I'm going to ram my fists so hard up your arsehole, that you'll think of me whenever you take a shit!" 

"Aieeeeegh! Dear gods! Somebody save me from this madman!" Dethaniel chases after him.

"I think we'll be fine." Kipu answers as they witness a game of cat and mouse right before them.

_ Back to the Quicksand  _

Dethaniel arrives at the tavern.

"Seeing you grinning means that the quest went well?" Momodi can plainly see his face brighter than the sun itself.

"Definitely! Nothing I couldn't handle. Here you go." He hands her the letter. She reads it thoroughly.

"I see. Thank you for delivering this to me. Knowing her, she gave you a hard time, right?"

"Only a little, but I don't let it get to me...sometimes." Momodi giggles.

"Regardless, you did well for your first time. With this, you've officially completed your first quest! Congratulations!" She claps. "Here's your rewards. A potion and some gil for the road."

"Much appreciated, Mama Mom!" 

"Mama Mom?" He grabs the item and money.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I will now explore the city and learn the basics along the way." Before Momodi could say anything, he runs out of the tavern.

"By the Twelve, that boy is as energetic as a wild Chocobo." She goes back to her duties, when our hero comes back.

"Do you know where the aetheryte is?" She sighs and gives him the three tasks she originally planned for him. 

And so begins Dethaniel's journey in which he will become a warrior no one would ever imagine in their drunken stupors.


End file.
